Gundam Fling
by AznTigress
Summary: A set of short stories I made up one time. Some were made up with help from my cousin. Thanx cuz!
1. In Sync?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gundam Wing, its characters, or N'Sync.

* * *

**In Sync?**

Heero was talking to Wufei in the Gundam hangar about something one day when Duo strolls in with a bashful Quatre in hand and a smile on his face.

"Hey Heero!" Duo greeted cheerfully. "Check out what Quatre and I learned!"

"No!" shrieked Quatre, turning red in the cheeks. "I said I didn't want to do it in front anyone else!"

With that, he got loose of Duo's grip and ran out of the hangar.

"What's wrong with Quatre?" asked Wufei.

"I dunno," replied Duo, shrugging uncaringly. "Oh well. I'll show you guys without him."

"Show us what?" Heero inquired apprehensively, raising an eye at his fellow pilot.

Duo proceeded to do the dance he saw in the music video, "It's Gonna Be Me" by the boy band N'Sync, while singing the song at the same time.

"Every little thing I do," he sang, dancing to the song playing in his head. "Never seems enough for you."

"You're kidding, right?" Wufei asked, twitching an eye.

"No, I won't let you do this," exclaimed Heero, taking out his handgun.

He fired a few rounds at Duo, who evaded them as he went through the dance moves.

"You don't wanna lose it again," continued Duo. "But I'm not like that."

"C'mon Heero," jeered Wufei. "I know you've got better aim than that."

"I've never come across anything like this before," replied Heero.

"Maybe when you finally," continued Duo. "Get to love somebody."

"Argh!" growled Heero.

"Guess what," sang Duo. "It's gonna be me!"

Stuck in a fit of frustration, Heero exasperatedly throws his gun at Duo, which surprisingly hit the boy.

"Ow!" yelped Duo. "That hurt!"

Both Heero's and Wufei's eyes became wide with astonishment.

"What the hell?" exclaimed Heero. "You've gotta be kidding me."

"That's funny Heero," commented Wufei. "You couldn't hit him once with your bullets yet you managed to injure him by merely throwing the gun."

Heero slowly turned his head to facethe Chinese pilot and gave him his patented death glare.


	2. Left, Right?

**A/N:** This is the Gundam version of the popular Lewis-Clark joke. Enjoy! (By the way, Taeko is a character I made for a Gundam Wing/Zoids story I wrote a long time ago. I can't remember enough to revive the story, so this might be the only chance for you to meet him. Taeko is a 14-year-old child prodigy in my story who likes to modify his gundam with his own set of weaponry; he also likes to build zoids in his spare time.)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gundam Wing, Zoids, Zoids/Zero, or any of their characters.

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**Left, Right?**

Taeko has just finished building an originally brand new Shield Liger. He inspects it and then starts cleaning and inspecting the Gundams. As he was climbing down from the Shield Liger, Heero appeared.

"Hey Taeko," he greeted the boy. "Is Zero ready?"

"Hey, Heero," Taeko greeted back. "Zero's almost done. He just needs a little cleaning and inspecting. The process will take a while seeing the whole scale of the suit itself. In the meantime, could you do me a favor?"

"Sure," replied Heero. "What do you need?"

"Could you go to Area 52 to test out my latest Shield Liger?" asked Taeko. "I was planning to do it myself, but I just can't find the time between maintaining the Gundams and taking tech requests from the others. Usually, I'd ask Howard to do it, but he's gone off somewhere."

"I'll do it," agreed Heero. "I don't really have anything else to do. Where's the zoid?"

"It's in stall 163," replied Taeko.

Just then Duo strolled into the hangar with a cheery disposition.

"Hey, Heero!" he greeted the Japanese pilot. "Watcha doing?"

"Something," sneered Heero who then turned his back towards Duo.

"You're not still mad that I destroyed your laptop, are you?" asked the Deathscythe pilot.

At the sound of that incident, Heero silently began steaming with anger.

"You shouldn't have left it on the table so carelessly," said Duo, putting his hands on his hips.

"Since when was a table designed for sitting?" Heero retorted angrily.

Ignoring Heero's outburst, Duo sees the new Shield Liger and almost instantly his eyes lit up brightly.

"Oooohhhh!" he squealed with excitement. "It's a new Shield Liger!"

"_I'm_ testing it," Heero spoke up quickly.

"Hey, Taeko," Duo called out to the young boy. "Can I test it too?"

"Well, it does have two pilot seats," articulated Taeko as he contemplated.

At the possible notion of Duo riding with him in the zoid, Heero shakes his head and waves his hand in a "NO" signal at Taeko.

"I guess so," Taeko finally answers after a moment of thought.

Heero hung his head at the sound of the boy's answer and sighed in exasperation. Duo hops into the pilot seat as Heero sits behind him in the copilot seat.

"I'm letting you pilot as long as you listen to what I say, got it?" declared Heero.

"Yes, Heero," Duo sighed in disappointment.

The two of them headed out to Area 52 with the Shield Liger.

"Okay, Duo," Heero spoke up after a few minutes. "Now turn left."

"Left?" asked Duo.

"Right," replied Heero.

"Right?" asked Duo.

"No, left," reiterated Heero.

"Left?" asked Duo.

"Right," replied Heero.

"Right?" asked Duo.

"No, _left_," reiterated Heero. He was starting to get irritated by Duo's incompetence.

"Left?" asked Duo.

"Right," sighed Heero.

"Right?" asked Duo.

"No," groaned Heero. "_Left_."

The Shield Liger continues on a straight course as Duo and Heero tried to decide where to go. Suddenly, a cliff appears 10 meters in front of the Shield Liger. Heero discovers that the path before the zoid was running out so he started to panic.

"Duo left, Duo left, Duo left!" he practically screamed out at the pilot before him.

"But Heero," said Duo. "I didn't leave. I'm still here."

Too late. The Shield Liger dropped right off the cliff and went down fast. Duo was too busy screaming to activate the Shield Liger's beam shield to save the precious zoid. Seconds later, the Shield Liger hit the bottom like a rock. _Crrunnncchh_!

"_Oh_," exclaimed Duo. "You mean 'Duo_ turn _left'."

Heero sighed and hit his head repeatedly on the pilot seat.

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That afternoon.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!"

Taeko screamed in horror as he looked at the nearly destroyed Shield Liger with eyes wide with fury.

"DUUUOOOOO!!!!!!" he screamed out.


	3. Bugged Out

**A/N:** Two of the characters here, Xiaohu and Kojiro, were also in my old Gundam Wing/Zoids fanfic. In my fanfic, Xiaohu is a zoid pilot who pilots a zoid called the Liger Zero Inferno. She loves to fight and never hesitates to when she gets the chance. Kojiro, a childhood friend of Heero's, is the _very_ first friend Heero makes (this IS my fanfic after all). Kojiro, also known as Koji, met Heero back when the guy didn't have a name to be called by so Koji called him Ronin, which is Japanese for a samurai without a master.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gundam Wing or any of its characters.

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**Bugged Out**

One day in the summer, Relena was working on some important documents as she sat tiredly at her desk. As Vice Foreign Minister, she has to make sure the Earth is at peace and settle any confrontations between nations and colonists. But even though, the girl is still a teenager and teenagers need a break every once in a while.

"I'm soo tired," groaned Relena. "I need a rest."

She looked around the empty apartment she resided in with Sally and Noin. The two women had left to meet with Lady Une so Relena had three beds all to herself. As she gets up from her desk, she suddenly spots a one inch spider on the wall near her.

"EEKK!" Relena cried out in surprise. "A spider!"

She empties her pencil mug and prepares to smash the arachnid.

"I am a human," Relena thought to herself out loud. "You are nothing but a tiny, and _very_ creepy bug."

She places the bottom of the mug over the spider and presses hard. After that, she peeks at the bottom of the mug to find the spider flattened and mutilated.

"Aaaahhh!" Relena shrieked in disgust.

Just then, Heero comes into the room with a worried look on his face.

"What happened?" he demanded.

Relena sees Heero, ran up to boy, and hugged him tightly.

"Oh Heero!" she cried out in feigned fear. "There was a nasty spider, and I squashed it with my mug, and I peeked at it to see if it was dead, and it looked gross, and I thought it moved, and I screamed 'cause it was soo disgusting and gross, and I was scared, and I need a hug!"

Heero didn't respond; he was too busy trying to escape Relena's suffocating embrace.

"I can't breathe!" he uttered arduously.

Hearing this, Relena immediately releases the poor guy.

"Sorry," she apologized sweetly.

Just then, Duo strolls into the room casually. Seeing his best bud with Relena gave him ideas.

"What the hell is going on here?" he demanded, arching an eye at Heero.

As if on cue, the rest of the Gundam pilots enters the room. Duo and Quatre both spots the mutilated spider and squeals.

"Eeeek!" they cried out. "A spider!"

"You two are such sissies," spoke Wufei, looking at the two scaredy-cats. "The thing's already dead and you two are still afraid of it."

"Well _sorry_ for being arachnophobic," Quatre responded upsettingly.

"I bet _you're_ afraid of something," added Duo.

"Humph!" scoffed Wufei, crossing his arms. "Name one thing that I'm probably afraid of."

"Trieze Kushrenada," blurted Duo.

"Trieze is dead," responded Wufei, creasing his eyes. "Why would I be afraid of him?"

"I… don't know," answered Duo with a nervous sweat running down his head.

"Exactly," popped Wufei. "I don't know what you're talking about, but I fear nothing."

At the sound of this remark, Duo starts to steam up.

"I'll find out what you're afraid of!" he declared confidently.

Wufei gave him a look of simple disbelief in response. Angry, Duo rolled up his sleeves and was about to throw a punch at the Chinese pilot when Quatre stopped him.

"C'mon Duo, that's enough," he exclaimed calmly. "Why don't we all go for a swim. It is pretty hot outside."

"You fishes go ahead and swim," Wufei remarked satirically. "I'm headed for the training room."

"You always go there," popped Duo.

"So?" retorted Wufei, waiting for the Deathscythe pilot to provide some sort of argument.

Before Duo could say a word, Relena spoke up.

"What are _you_ all doing here?" she demanded in a ditzy tone. "All I wanted was Heero."

"_Well_! I never…" began Duo.

"I'm getting out of here," declared Trowa, leaving the room.

"Me too," added Quatre.

With that said and done, all of the Gundam pilots turned and left the room.

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One month later, the Gundam pilots, a girl name Xiaohu and her friends Taeko and Kojiro, were all lounging around in the living room of Quatre's millionaire mansion.

"This is one of the most interesting summers I've ever had," Xiaohu spoke up, stroking her pet iguana, Xiaolong.

"Too bad we couldn't bring Xiaolong and Duo with us to Florida," added Taeko.

"What are you talking about?" demanded Duo. "I went to Florida with you guys."

"I was talking about my gecko, moron," retorted Taeko, motioning to the small blue green lizard lying in his hand.

"Why did you havta name that thing after me?!" exasperated Duo, scrunching his nose up at the reptile.

"Because I wanted to!" replied Taeko, petting the gecko.

"I don't care what you say, I did not scream on Tower of Terror," spoke up Heero after talking to Kojiro.

"Stop lying Ronin," said Kojiro. "Everyone who was on that ride heard you loud and clear."

Xiaohu and Taeko both gave a small bout of laughter as they remembered that incident at Walt Disney World.

"How did you know it was _me_ screaming?" argued Heero. "What if it was someone else who _sounded_ like me?"

"Please, how could we not?" replied Taeko. "You were screaming at Relena to not let go of you."

"I was not," defended Heero. "I was merely asking if she was scared or not."

"No, I specifically heard you telling me not to let go of your hand," affirmed Relena.

"Work with me here!" Heero whispered angrily to Relena.

"Maybe Relena didn't hear Heero clearly," suggested Quatre.

"How can that be?" asked Trowa. "She was sitting right next to him on the ride.

Heero blushed embarrassingly now that he knows he's lost the fight.

"Heh, doesn't look like you'll be able to get out of this one, Ronin," spoke Kojiro with a grin on his face.

"Don't worry, Heero," assured Xiaohu, patting the boy on the back. "Everybody's afraid of something; it's natural."

"Speaking of being afraid, I gotta figure out what Wufei's afraid of," spoke up Duo.

"Damn it Duo," exasperated Taeko. "Would you just lay off the guy already?"

"Hell naw," replied Duo. "He's been making fun of my fears for so long, it's payback time."

"Gosh, Duo," Kojiro sighed annoyingly. "Just leave the guy alone."

"I will not and you can't make me!" blurted Duo.

"But I can!" exclaimed Xiaohu, smacking the boy on the back of his head.

"Ow!" popped Duo, rubbing his head. "What the heck was THAT for?"

"Serves you right, Duo," agreed Taeko. "There's no way anyone can scare Wufei, not even you."

"I'll show you," growled Duo as he pulled a black and hairy rubber spider out of his pocket.

Just then, Wufei walks in. Seeing his chance, Duo made his move.

"Yo, Wufei!" he called out to the pilot. "Catch!"

Duo throws the spider at Wufei, which bounces off of the boy's arm and plops down in front of him. Wufei looked down at the spider, kicked it to the side, and walked away. Duo's eyes were wide open with a mixture of utter surprise and shock on his face.

"What?!" he exclaimed in disbelief. "I can't believe it! He's not even afraid of a huge-ass fuzzy, rubber spider! I used that thing to scare the shit outta Quatre."

"THAT'S the stupid spider?!" shrieked Quatre upsettingly.

"Uh, Duo," spoke up Kojiro. "That was Quatre. This is _Wufei_ you're dealing with."

"What's THAT supposed to mean?" Quatre demanded angrily.

"Shut up, Koji," retorted Duo disappointingly.

"Duo! Duo, where are you?!" Taeko spoke up.

"I'm over here!" sang Duo.

"Gecko!" Taeko sang back.

"Shut up!" Duo sang in return.

"Yeah Duo. Real mature," responded Xiaohu.

"Shut UUUPP," Duo sang at Xiaohu.

Xiaohu sighed in exasperation at the boy's remark. Lying down on her lap, Xiaolong had unknowingly drifted off to sleep during the whole commotion.


	4. Snow Day

**A/N:** Once again, my three Gundam Wing/Zoid fanfic characters make a comeback in this holiday edition of Gundam Flings! Hope you guys have a great Winter Break!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gundam Wing, Zoids, Zoids/Zero, or any of their characters.

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**Snow Day**

In Quatre's mansion living room, Xiaohu flops down on the couch there and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Ah, that was a fun time on the slopes," she exclaimed happily. "That was a great winter vacation."

"Yeah, you said it," agreed Taeko as he flopped down on the couch beside her. "Maybe we should go snowboarding more often."

He slips his hand into his pocket and takes out a picture and laughs.

"That's a nice picture of us," commented Xiaohu looking at the picture of Heero falling on his skis, Quatre petting a team of Siberian Huskies, Trowa zipping down on the slope with his skis, Wufei making a snow statue of Shenlong Gundam, and Duo airborne on his snowboard. "Kinda funny to see Wufei make a snowman. Next time we should make Heero, and Trowa try out snowboarding."

"Who came with us?" wondered Taeko. "There was Heero, Duo, Trowa, You, Me, Koji..."

"And Wufei," added Xiaohu.

"And then Duo, Wufei, Koji, you, and I took up snowboarding..." continued Taeko.

"While Heero, Trowa, and Relena went skiing," finished Xiaohu.

"Didn't Relena come with us too?" asked Taeko.

"Naw, she came with Sally, Quatre, and Noin in another car," answered Xiaohu. "We took Trowa's van. We should've taken a picture of all of us."

"Yeah," agreed Taeko disappointedly. "Too bad Duo messed up the camera before we had the chance to."

"Note to self: next time, don't let Duo take a picture while standing on his snowboard," said Xiaohu, hanging her head in exasperation.

Just then, Duo walks into the living room, rubbing his butt and groaning as he walked. Behind him came Wufei, Heero, Trowa, and Kojiro.

"Speaking of which," perked up Xiaohu. "Why didn't I see you at the beginner slopes, Duo?"

"He decided to go on the most advanced slopes," Wufei answered for the pilot.

"Why would he do that?" wondered Trowa. "He just started snowboarding."

"I don't know," replied Heero. "Go ask him yourself."

Duo whimpered in pain as he sat down beside Xiaohu.

"You should have seen him," said Trowa. "It was hilarious how he tried to get down the mountain."

"I can still see him falling head over heels in the snow," Wufei added with a smile on his face.

"And you guys thought that _me_ falling down was funny," said Heero.

"Don't worry; that was funny too," assured Xiaohu with a grin.

"Yeah," agreed Taeko. "It's not like everyday you see a guy slipping on the snow right after he snaps on both skis."

"At least I was brave enough to go on the advanced slopes," defended Duo.

"Please," retorted Xiaohu. "I hardly consider getting to the chair lift a thing of courage."

"Maybe if you practiced on the beginner slopes before going on the advanced slopes, you could've done much better than those little kids who beat you to the bottom," exclaimed Trowa.

"Aw man, we should've taped that," moaned Xiaohu disappointedly. "I can see the headlines now: Duo, a sixteen-year-old teen, snowboards head over heels down the advanced slopes while a mere six-year-old boy beats him to the bottom by zipping fast on his snowboard and pummeling the poor teen with snowballs."

"Hardy har," Duo laughed sarcastically.

Xiaohu kicked Duo in the shins, which caused the boy to send out a shrill cry as he grabs his legs.

"You know, I really liked snowboarding," commented Wufei. "It's a great workout."

"I think skiing is better," said Kojiro. "It's like rollerblading in the snow."

"Skiing sucks," groaned Heero, crossing his arms and creasing his eyes.

At the sound of this, Xiaohu laughed out loud.

"What's so funny?" demanded Heero.

"You're just saying that because you kept falling down on your skis a lot," replied Kojiro.

"I was not," argued Heero defensively.

"Were too," Taeko argued back. "Every time you snap on both skis, you fall splat on the snow."

"Not every time," articulated Heero.

"Yeah, Ronin's right," agreed Kojiro. "Remember when we got at the top of the mountain, Ronin snapped on only one of his skis and he slipped down the entire beginner course?"

"Oh yeah," remembered Xiaohu. "And the beginner course was for slow speeds only and Heero was zipping down really fast."

"And then the ski patrol was chasing after Heero on his snowmobile and nearly toppled a bunch of skiers and snowboarders down," added Trowa.

"And then when the ski patrol finally caught Heero, he slipped and smacked the ski patrol with his ski and sent the guy sprawling on the snow," added Taeko.

"And then Heero got his lift ticket taken away for the entire day because he was a 'public hazard'," chuckled Wufei.

"Where was _I_ when all this happened?" Duo wondered upsettingly.

"Probably tumbling down the advanced slopes while that little kid threw snowballs at you the whole way," answered Xiaohu.

"Hey, that wasn't funny," pouted Duo.

"It was from where we were standing," said Kojiro.

Everyone laughed out loud as both Duo and Heero crossed their arms tightly and glared at the others.


	5. The Ultimate Prank

**A/N:** For those of you who have seen the hilarious Japanese movie, _Kikujiro_, this story was based off that one very tear-jerking, laugh-your-ass-off, rolling-on-the-floor-laughing scene, as you will soon read.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gundam Wing, any of its characters, or _Kikujiro_.

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**The Ultimate Prank**

One warm afternoon in April at a paved road with a flood ditch on one side, Duo was sitting on the other side of the road without a ditch, toying with a tiny explosive he stole from Taeko. He takes a piece of clay and buries the explosive within it. Just then, walking along the road, Heero spots Duo and walks up to the boy.

"Duo, what are you doing?" he wondered out loud.

"Hey, Heero," greeted Duo with a sly grin. "Wanna see something funny?"

He takes the clay with the explosive embedded inside and places it onto the road.

"C'mon Heero," he bided his friend. "Let's go."

Heero and Duo walked away from the street and stood in the grass, facing the road. After they were at a considerable distance from the road, a pink car drives over the explosive clay. _Boom!_ The tire that ran over the explosive clay popped loudly and the car screeches into the flood ditch further up the road. Duo fell to the ground and laughed his little head off.

"Did you see that, Heero!" he asked through tears of laughter. "Oh man! That is hee-larious!"

Duo keeps on laughing until Heero nudged him with his shoe and pointed to where the car fell in.

"Uh, Duo," he uttered.

"What?" asked Duo as he got up to look where the car fell.

He then sees Relena screaming and running towards him.

"Oh, shit!" exclaimed Duo worriedly.

"Better start running," suggested Heero.

Agreeing with his friend, Duo zips away as Relena races after him, the girl cursing along the way. Heero simply stood where he was and watched as Relena catches Duo and smacks him repeatedly with her purse.

"Now _that's_ funny," he said to himself, smiling greatly. :)


	6. Wasabi equals What's up, D?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gundam Wing, Zoids, Zoids/Zero, or any of their characters.

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**Wasabi equals What's Up, D?**

One evening at the hangar, Taeko was busily working on and maintaining the Gundams and Zoids in there with some help from Kojiro. Just then, Xiaohu strolls in with a tray of chips and dips.

"Hey you guys," she greeted friendly. "I brought a little something for you two. Take a break and have a snack."

"Thanks Xiaohu," Taeko greeted back. "Koji and I were working all day. It's nice to have a break once in a while."

Kojiro hops down from a Zaber Fang and walks over to the table where Xiaohu had placed the tray of goodies.

"It's no biggie," responded Xiaohu. "Hey, Taeko."

"Yeah?" responded the boy.

"You didn't have to maintain Inferno for me, you know?" she told him. "I usually take care of that on a daily basis."

"That's allright Xiaohu," assured Taeko. "It's become a habit of mine to maintain everything I see in this hangar."

Suddenly, the hangar opened up and Wing Gundam Zero walked in. It parked into a stall and Heero came out of the cockpit. He sees Xiaohu, Taeko, and Kojiro and walks towards them.

"Hi Heero," greeted Taeko. "How's Zero working?"

"Pretty good," answerd Heero. "Even better than before. Thanks for taking care of my Gundam."

"Just doin' my job," smiled Taeko.

As if things couldn't get worse, Duo strolls in with his usual smile on his face.

"What are you guys doing in here?" he asked them.

"We're talking," responded Taeko scornfully, still remembering the incident with the crushed Shield Liger. "The real question is: what are _you_ doing here?"

"Do you have to question _everything_ I do?" wondered Duo.

"If I want to keep my Zoids in one piece, yeah," replied Taeko.

"He's got you there, Duo," snickered Kojiro.

Ignoring the conversation at hand, Heero nonchalantly dips a chip into one of the dips and eats it. Duo turned to the pilot and spoke to him.

"Heero, you didn't even say hi to me," he said with a tone of artificial disappointment.

Heero suddenly chokes on the dip at the sound of that statement.

"Oh,_ I_ see how it is," exclaimed Duo.

"Wasabi!" Heero choked in a low tone.

"Heero, are you okay?" Taeko inquired with much concern.

"Wasabi!" choked Heero, again in a low tone.

"What?" asked Duo, cupping a hand over his ear to hear Heero better.

"Wasabi!" choked Heero, still in a low tone.

"Did you say 'What's up, D'?" asked Duo, confused.

"Wasabi!" choked Heero,_still_ in a low tone.

Duo instantly jumps up and down with joy.

"Heero said what's up, D! Heero said what's up, D!" he squealed happily. "Oh man, Heero. You're American now! This makes me soo happy!"

Duo pretends to wipe a tear from his eye to express his fake sense of happiness.

"Wasabi!" choked Heero, staggaring and turning blue.

"Heero's choking!" exclaimed Taeko in alarm.

Xiaohu quickly comes up behind Heero and performs the Heimlich maneuver. After a few thrusts, Heero coughs up the chip and dip onto Duo.

"AAWWW! GRRROOOSSSSSSSSS!" Duo groaned loudly.

"Thanks, Xiaohu," coughed Heero, clearing his esophagus.

"No prob," replied the girl. "I was getting restless from my morning workout and needed to exert the energy."

Meanwhile, Duo had scrunched up his face in total disgust.

"This is just plain nasty!" he cried out. "And it's all over my shirt too!"

Heero, Xiaohu, Taeko, and Kojiro simply laughed out loud at Duo's predicament.


End file.
